BC Soccer: Uncomfortable Comfort Zones

At some point or another, we are forced to step out of our comfort zones and face the unknown. It seems like everything about college is unknown, like every step we take is a step outside of where we’ve been. Playing soccer was something that I thought would help ease this transition; I’d been playing soccer my whole life—a soccer ball was just an extension of my body.

And then suddenly, it wasn’t. Suddenly I found myself standing in the goal, watching everyone else play soccer. I watched my team struggle and I saw them succeed, but I didn’t feel like I was a part of any it—I was stuck in a box 44 yards wide and 18 yards deep. As frustrating as that was, it was even more frustrating to know that as a keeper, I could potentially determine the outcome of a game; I could save a shot that might lead the other team to victory or I could be the reason we left the field with another loss on our record.

Of course I know that you win together and you lose together, but unless you’ve played keeper before you really don’t understand the feeling of isolation. Of course I know that the ball has to beat ten other players before it passes into the back of the net, but unless you’ve played keeper before you really don’t understand the sense of defeat in that one moment. Of course I “know”, but now I play keeper.

In high school my coach always tried to get me to play keeper. He thought that since I had always played basketball I would be good with my hands and therefore a great keeper. To his dismay though, I never consented. I thought it would be boring, I thought I would be useless back there, I was scared of facing penalty kicks and one on one’s with the other team’s forewards, of being scored on, of losing—there was no way I was going to let myself be put in goal.

For four years I stuck with my decision, and then I was here for not even four weeks and already practicing as a keeper. Why the change? Well, sometimes in life you have to step up, and stepping up can also mean stepping out. I didn’t want to play keeper, I didn’t know how to play keeper, but my team needed a keeper…so I play keeper, and it’s the most uncomfortable zone on the field.